Getting ready to set a few resolutions to mark the occasion? You’re not alone, though you may want to give this a thorough read before you do.
If self-worth, a feeling of worthiness, is at the top of your 2018 list, resolutions are the last thing you need.
What you need is to reframe your idea of self-worth. I have a feeling, like many of the other topics we’ve covered, you’re confusing this with something else.
It’s about who you are - not what you do, own, or know. It’s about valuing your inherent worth as a person.
You know what it ISN’T? It’s not about measuring yourself based on external possessions, factors or actions.
It’s easy, as humans, to feel compelled to compare ourselves with others. These comparisons are the precursor to feelings of inadequacies. It’s inevitable, no matter how amazing you are.
Why? There will always be someone “better” than you. Someone who you see as more successful, affluent or attractive than you. The whole world can’t be filled with those who are above average.
(I mean it’s literally a mathematical impossibility. Check the definition if you don’t believe me.)
As individuals improve or decline in any given area, their place in that average changes. If you measure your self-worth on fluctuating factors, your ability to feel worthy will also fluctuate.
Which is why it’s important to reframe self-worth to a meaning that we can uphold and embrace.
True self-worth hinges on one thing; Your ability to remove the influence of the external. That’s external thoughts, opinions, etc. It is an internal thing that, really, only you should be involved in.
Of course, I realize that our internal moral compass develops with external factors. Even still, when assessing self-worth, we need to listen to our hearts. Not our nagging inner critical voice.
That critical voice is the result of comparisons and it’s only there to make you feel. Yes, it has a place for sure, but it’s not going to bring value to a self-worth conversation. After all, it’s purpose is to be critical and engage your emotions to evoke action.
We need self-worth to survive. Without it, what are we really? Therefore, when you aren’t actively seeking your critical voice, shut it off during your evaluation. Period.
Let me introduce you to my favorite little tool - Stop, Drop and Roll.
I battle feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness constantly. I imagine many an entrepreneur feels the same. If I let these feeling run rampant, it will hinder my progress.
Because your internal sense of worth directly impacts every area of your life and performance.
When the unworthiness rears its ugly head, I just STOP, DROP and ROLL baby.
STOP Comparing Yourself to Others
DROP Your Critical Voice
ROLL into Your Inherent Worth
Let me break it down.
There is a reason that your first stop is shutting out comparisons.
They are the root of unworthiness.
Base your opinions on your own moral compass, and not what others may believe.
Kindly tell it to F*%& Off.
You don’t need it right now because you’re not writing up a list of faults.
Inherent value presides in every human life as a right or privilege such that, if it could be taken away, that life would no longer be human.
Your intelligence, compassion, ability to reason, change, improve and learn – those are inherent. Take that away, and you aren’t human anymore. You aren’t you.
Build Your Worthiness
Measure yourself on your ability to show compassion and support your fellow man. Feel free to base it on adaptability and growth. Look at what really matters, and grow confident in who you are and what you are capable of.
Are you a devoted husband or wife, son or daughter, mother or father? Weigh that in.
Did you stop and take care of a defenseless animal? That counts too.
There are many things connected to our inherent value that, while under the influence of our inner critic, we can’t see or acknowledge. Next time you feel like you aren’t good enough, stop drop and roll and reframe that perspective. Once you’ve gone through these steps, you’ll undoubtedly feel better.
Value what you are, not what others want you to be.
PS: Make sure to sign up for our email list below too, and I’ll send you the rest of this series as they drop!)
PPS: In case you missed them, here are the previous pieces in this series!
How to Reframe Failure: You Can’t Fail if you Don’t Quit
How to Reframe Fear; Are You Scared or Just Unsure?
How to Reframe Success; It’s Not Them, It’s You
How to Reframe Perfection: Fiction Not Fact
How to Reframe Wealth: 3 Pillars of True Wealth
How to Reframe Time: I’ve got 99 Problems but Time Isn’t One
How to Reframe the Holidays: Why Celebration Should be Mandatory
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